Kitchen Adventures: A Journey Back to the Dark Days of American Home Cooking

When I explore my cookbook collection looking for new things, there are generally three things that might entice me to sample a recipe. The first reason is that it simply sounds good. That’s true 90% of the time. Second, a recipe may use cooking techniques I’m unfamiliar with, or be of a culture I’d like to explore more. Let’s say that’s true 9.5% of the time.

But the other .5%? That’s reserved for the ridiculous—food that is bizarre, trashy, and somehow irresistible—the reason that “Mexican Dish with Doritos” was on the menu Friday evening. Before I delve into the specifics of this dish, let me first give it a little context.

The recipe came from a 1977 compilation of recipes by the Association of Operating Room Nurses Chapter 51 in Topeka, Kansas. While the recipes themselves were contributed by AORN members, the front of the comb bound book is filled with loads of “useful” information provided by the publisher. A table of food quantities necessary to serve 100 people (church supper, anyone?) tells me that I’ll need 3 lbs of coffee, 18 pies, and 18 quarts oysters, 30 lbs beets, and so on. Other nuggets are so dated that they make less sense to the 35 and under crowd than an LP does to the average ten-year-old:

• “Before emptying the bag of your vacuum cleaner, sprinkle water on the newspaper into which it is emptied, and there will be no scattering of dust.”
• “Instead of trying to iron rickrack on the right side of the garment, turn the article. The rickrack can be pressed perfectly.”
• “Wash old powder puffs in soapy water, rinse well and dry thoroughly. Then use them for polishing silverware, copper and brass.”
• “Use the divider from an ice tray to cut biscuits in a hurry. Shape dough to conform with size of divider and cut. After baking biscuits will separate at dividing lines.”

At this point you’re probably wondering how you’ve survived without this book, right?

Stage properly set, let’s get on with the recipe. Below is a photo of all the necessary ingredients.



You’ll note that, except for maybe the hamburger, there’s not a single fresh, non-processed ingredient in the bunch!

1 lb beef, browned
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 bottle taco sauce
1 can enchilada sauce
longhorn cheese - any variety
1 large package Doritos

Brown beef, drain. Add sauces and soups. Layer in baking dish; Doritos, sauce, cheese, then repeat layers. Bake 350 degrees until cheese bubbles. Serve warm/hot.



Some notes about the ingredients. I substituted mild Pace salsa for the taco sauce to give my dish at least a blush of vegetables. While I did use longhorn cheese (a colby/jack blend), that was completely unnecessary. Longhorn has nothing to do with the flavor. It’s just the shape of the cheese. Since I was grating, it didn’t matter a bit whether I started out with a slab with two rounded corners, or a brick.

The most difficult decision had to do with the Doritos. This is what the Doritos display on modern grocery store shelves look like in:



Definitely more flavors and options in 2012 than would have been available in 1977. But what would have been available? I ruled out the obvious ones, like Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch, and Fiery Habeñero. Anything “reduced fat” could be eliminated as well. I was down to two choices: Taco Flavored Tortilla Chips, and Nacho Cheese. I took a chance on Nacho Cheese.

Later I did a bit of research on the history of Doritos—a first for me. According to the Doritos wikipedia page (yes, there is one), the first flavor was taco when it Doritos launched in 1968. Nacho cheese was released in 1972, and is the most popular flavor. Both would have been available to the home cook in 1977, and I feel good about my choice.

The instructions were apparently too complicated, or not complicated enough, because I seem to have not paid proper attention to the ingredient order in the layers. But the critical question is how did it come out?



The flavors were overall acceptable to good. It was interesting. I can see some ways to improve it, like adding onion, olives and chiles. Perhaps serving with a dollop of sour cream. But there was so much sodium laced throughout the dish that my lips burned for an hour afterward, and I had to continually hydrate myself. So no, this once the leftovers are eaten, Mexican Dish with Doritos won’t be making a repeat appearance on our weekly menu plan.

The irony that this blatantly unhealthy family meal was contributed by an emergency room nurse, has not escaped me. Eat food like this on a regular basis, and you may very well be whisked off to one in an ambulance.